One of my TOEFL Writing Boot Camp students wrote a response to the following essay prompt:
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
First, it is better to choose a tour guide for a vacation because of the opportunity to make the most of the time that we have to visit our planned tourists’ sites. For instance, during our trip to the Vlora city, we enjoyed in five days the wonderful sites that the city offered. The tour guide had planned in detail every movement that we did in these days which gave us the chance to visit almost all of the touristic places of the area. I remember that our days were divided into two parts. The first part included the daily rest at the beach under the sun and being close to the clear water of the Ionian Sea, and the second part was focused on visiting some of the archaeological sites of the area and the country’s scenic nature locales. During afternoons, we also enjoyed some of the restaurants of the country where we tasted the traditional cuisine of the place. All of these movements that we experienced during our trip came as a result of the tour guide which did a magnificent job offering to us a quality vacation in a short period of time.
Second, it is wiser to choose a tour guide to visit a place to save time and money. Nowadays, tour guide agencies offer a lot of promotions for travelers to attract them into their business while providing splendid services where people save time and money. For example, during our trip to Vlora city, the tour guide had booked us the hotels and restaurants. Also, the tour guide had planned our trip in every detail which helped us save our precious time so we could spend more time exploring the beautiful city. Moreover, the tour guide saved us money. We chose one of their promotions that cost us $2000, which was a real deal. If we had planned this trip by ourselves, this amount would only have covered the cost of the airplane tickets. Thus, planning and building a journey with a tour guide is beneficial in timing and cost.
What should the student do now?
Since the student has a good grasp on how to organize and develop her ideas, she does not need any practice in this area. However, the student scored 22/30 points due to language use issues in three specific areas:
Passive gerunds and infinitives in English grammar
Real and unreal past and present conditions in English grammar
Subject- verb inversions in English grammar